Proverbs 5:1-23

We all know that we live in a sexually saturated culture. We’ve come a long way from Victorian America, where bathing suits covered the entire body and where a scandal was seeing a woman’s knee. In the 1950s, when a young entrepreneur named Hugh Hefner left his job at Fortune magazine to start Playboy, that opened the floodgates of pornography. Today pornography in the United States is a multibillion dollar industry. Sexually explicit images are also piped into homes through cable TV, dish networks, and the internet.

Yet the even more dangerous part of our sexually saturated society is the message that a person can act on their sexual impulses without any consequences. This is one of the enormous lies of our generation. Millions of people today act out every sexual whim and they wonder why their lives are falling apart.

1. A Warning (Proverbs 5:1-6)

The first six verses of the chapter give us a warning. Notice the reemphasis on wisdom in the first two verses. I define wisdom as the art of skillful living. God built his wisdom into his creation. God’s wisdom is the like the wood grain in a piece of wood. Skillful living is the art
of living with the grain of God’s creation rather than living against the grain.

All of chapter five talks about how to live with the grain in the area of our sexuality. This chapter is a father instructing his son about wise living, the warning is about the "adulteress."

However, the principles we find here apply to all kinds of sexual temptation, not just a young man’s temptation with an extramarital affair. Had the author been writing for his daughter, he might’ve just as easily warned about the gigolo. So the "adulteress" in this chapter represents any source of sexual temptation. It could be a man or a woman. It could be the cover of a glossy magazine promising enticing pictures inside, or an email with an explicit message. It could be a romance novel or an attraction to your next door neighbor.

This chapter notes that what the temptation promises is always better than what it really delivers. Sexual temptation drips with honey. Honey is something sweet. Here honey represents words of seductive flattery that appeal to the person’s ego. Words like, "You’re special," or "You’re attractive," and "I want you" are words that drip with honey.

Sexual temptation is "smoother than oil." This is a way of saying that the source of temptation says all the right things, but that there’s really a hidden agenda. Just like pornography is more about money than it is about sex, most source of sexual temptation is really hiding a hidden agenda. Perhaps its an agenda for money. Or perhaps its an agenda for power.But in the end, what starts as sweet as honey tastes as bitter as gall. When all is said and done, the sweetness is gone, and all that’s left is a bitter taste. Like a sharp sword slashes and cuts, in the end this temptation tears us up inside.

This is true of all sexual temptation. You see, this chapter is not blaming women for sexual temptation, but it’s using a case study to illustrate the power of sexual temptation. This case study is representative for all kinds of sexual temptation. So it could just as easily be a man tempting a woman, or the temptation of an internet chat room, or a magazine, or a romance novel, or a movie, or whatever.

II. So here we find the warning. THE TEMPTATION TO LIVE OUTSIDE OF GOD’S BOUNDARIES FOR SEX ALWAYS LOOKS BETTER THAN IT REALLY IS.

What looks as sweet as honey is really as bitter as arsenic. What looks as smooth as oil is really sharper than a sharpened sword. You see, sexual temptation creates an illusion, and then tries to persuade us that this illusion is real. Whether it’s the plotline of a romance novel or a
seductive image that’s been airbrushed and altered, sexual temptation peddles an illusion. That’s why sexual temptation appeals to the world of fantasy.

Our problem comes when we buy the lie that the illusion is real. Once you believe the illusion, you’ll constantly struggle with reminding yourself that temptation promises something that isn’t real. It promises something as sweet as honey, but really it’s as bitter as arsenic.

The author of Proverbs wants us to see sexual sin for what it is, breaking out of the illusion that’s peddled by temptation.

III. The Consequences (Proverbs 5:7-14)

This brings us to the consequences of giving in to sexual temptation in v. 7-14. This father urges his son to steer clear of sexual temptation. Don’t even go down that street, he says. If you want to walk right--"Don’t go where it’s slippery."

Then the father lists several of the consequences his son can expect if he gives in to the temptation. Look at these consequences. Sexual sin drains our strength.

According to v. 11 sexual sin cuts our lives short. We know that to be true more today than ever before, with the advent of AIDS and the constant emergence of new sexually transmitted diseases.

According to v. 12 and 13, we’ll also have regrets. We’ll come to our senses afterwards, and say, "I should’ve listened." Yet these are regrets we won’t be able to erase.

Finally, according to v. 14, we’ll experience public humiliation.

All of these consequences are sobering. Perhaps we could sum up these consequences this way. WHEN WE STEP OUTSIDE OF GOD’S BOUNDARIES FOR SEX, WE END UP HURTING OURSELVES.

It’s been said, "We don’t break God’s laws, but they break us." That phrase means that God’s ethical imperatives aren’t arbitrary rules that God pulled out of a hat. But God gave us these ethical absolutes for our own welfare, to protect us from the kinds of consequences we read about here. God’s sexual boundaries are an expression of his love for the human race. When we reject those boundaries, we hurt ourselves.

IV. The Alternative (Proverbs 5:15-19)

Look at the alternative in vv. 15-19. This section is striking in its frankness and honesty. The author uses the metaphor of water to describe our own sexuality. He encourages his son to stay within the sexual boundaries of marriage. The marriage bed is likened to a well or a
cistern in his yard, that place where he finds water to refresh his soul and strengthen his body.

Yet v. 18 also gives us the context for this blessing: marriage. Rejoice in your wife or your husband. The Bible never talks about sex without also thinking about marriage. God’s creation intention in Genesis chapters 1 and 2 are always in the backdrop of the Bible’s discussion of
human sexuality. You see, God’s creation of the first man and the first woman provides the context for human sexuality.

So here we find the alternative for living outside of God’s sexual boundaries. WISE LIVING INVOLVES ENJOYING OUR SEXUALITY WITHIN THE COVENANT OF MARRIAGE.

God created a boundary for the enjoyment of sexuality, and that boundary is the covenant of marriage. God created a covenant relationship, a relationship of mutual trust and mutual commitment, a relationship that’s entered into with vows.

This means that if we express our sexuality outside of this covenant relationship we’ve gone outside the boundaries. The Bible teaches that premarital sexual expression is wrong and destructive in our lives. The Bible uses the word "fornication" to describe premarital sex. It teaches that all extramarital sexual expression is wrong and destructive in our lives. The Bible uses the word adultery to describe extramarital sex. The Bible also teaches that all same sex sexual expression is wrong and destructive. The Bible uses the word homosexuality to describe same sex activity.

God created marriage between a husband and a wife as the creation context for people to enjoy their sexuality

V. A Reality Check (Proverbs 5:20-23)

Finally, we come to a reality check in v. 20-23. We’re reminded here that everything we do is observed by God. Nothing escapes his gaze. We may think we’ve covered our tracks, but God sees it all.

We’re also warned here that our choices have the potential of ensnaring us for the rest of our lives. Like a mouse caught in a trap, venturing outside of God’s boundaries is dangerous. We find ourselves tied to our sinful behavior. This snare can take many different forms. The point of these final verses seems to be this. OUR CHOICES DETERMINE OUR DESTINY.

Our choices in life reflect the road we’ve chosen, and the further we go down that road, the more difficult it is to change to a different road.

Conclusion

God warns us about the lure of sexual temptation, he wants us to truly understand the destructive consequences of giving into that temptation, he wants us to enjoy the alternative in the context of marriage, and he wants us to make wise choices because he knows our choices determine our destiny. This wisdom is against the grain of our society today, but it’s with the grain of God’s creation.

Written by Pastor James Groce, used by permission